At some point, most of us can be poor communicators. However, there is a need for improvement when a person finds it difficult to connect with everyone all the time. Let’s look at some signs of poor communication skills that reveal you’re a bad communicator. On top of that, we will also discuss some causes and possible effects of lacking communication skills.
What Causes Poor Communication Skills?
Communication plays a crucial role in our everyday lives.
And your communication skill isn’t only necessary to build a connection with someone for the first time, but also to keep the connection alive and interesting over time.
In any relationship, being able to communicate plays an important role.
When a person is unable to express his views or unable to connect with others, the problem continues to exist.
People tend to become either good or bad at communicating depending on their nature, their upbringing, their experiences, or their personal preferences.
There are many factors, both personal and situational, which can contribute to the lack of communication skills.
Identifying the one that applies to a particular case is essential to finding the most effective solution.
Well, the most common causes of poor communication skills are as follows:
- Lack of self-confidence and inferiority complex.
- An Individual’s reserved nature and private personality.
- A huge difference in language, culture, views, etc.
- Conservative thinking and Orthodox beliefs.
- Feeling overconfident or putting self-ego first.
- Having no sympathy or concern for others.
- Lack of emotional connection between two people.
Do you feel that your communication skills aren’t that good? Do you have difficulty expressing yourself? Or, are you often misunderstood no matter what you say?
That means you lack communication skills and are incapable of being able to express yourself and share your feelings with others.
Due to that, you may encounter many challenges not just in your professional network, but also in your relationships.
12 Signs of Poor Communication Skills
Now let’s take a look at some valid signs that you are a bad communicator that holding you back from having genuine connections with anyone.
If you identify with the majority of the signs from the list, then it’s time to think about your communication skills and take action to improve them.
1. You always talk without much thinking or waiting.
If you have an opinion to share during a conversation or debate, that’s fine.
However, it is not a good idea to keep speaking about everything, whether you are aware of the topic completely or not.
It turns into a one-sided conversation when you talk too much without processing your words.
You only care about saying something than considering others’ words or feelings.
When you don’t engage in a two-way conversation, and you’re the only one who always speaks most of the time, these are signs that you are bad at communicating with others.
2. You hardly focus when someone is talking to you.
You want others to pay attention when you speak. But, not following it, when it’s your turn.
Maybe you find the conversation boring or don’t see any value in whatever someone wants to share something with you.
Your partner or friend is sharing something with you while you’re fiddling with your phone, scrolling through your Instagram feeds, doing anything… except, actually listening to them.
You constantly make them feel ignored or avoided when they have something important to talk about with you.
Such habits as multitasking and not making them feel heard are signs that you are a bad communicator. This makes them stay away from you.
Check other: Signs You’re Spending Too Much Time Alone
3. You have a bad habit of interrupting others.
You might be the perfect choice for news interviews. But not for healthy discussion.
You find it increasingly difficult to refrain from speaking when someone is talking.
If not that, then you can’t let them have all the attention, you want to be in the spotlight as well.
Thus, you interrupt them anyway, cutting them off mid-conversation.
The chances are that you’re a controlling partner or boss who just wants to remain in control of any discussions that happen around you.
By interrupting them or simply avoiding them, you are trying to intimidate them with your position or power.
If you feel so, then these are signs of poor communication skills which lead them to agree with you without any meaningful or healthy conversation.
4. You divert every conversation about yourself.
You think you know everything, and you have opinions about everyone.
In either case, you interrupt or begin expressing your judgments before they are done.
Whenever someone is talking about their personal issues or recent experiences they’re excited about, you interject your own stories and experiences.
Through this, you don’t just destroy their trust, but also sometimes fail to connect with their issues, and provide the right advice they seek.
Your tendency to connect everything with yourself and to be more interested in sharing your views or stories than in listening to others are signs you lack communication skills.
Check other: Signs You’re a Control Freak (And, What To Do)
5. You are scared of being judged or thinking you’re not good enough.
A sense of insecurity pervades your mind. You are concerned about how others perceive you.
Everything you do or think is reserved as you have set judgments for everything. Which actually prevents you from truly expressing your thoughts and feelings.
You fear that others will not accept you or make fun of you.
Although not everyone’s the same, you think you’re not as good as they are.
This further results in you preferring to stay isolated and not socialize with the right people.
With insecurity and fear of being judged, you have difficulty expressing your ideas, and you end up making mistakes that are signs of weak communication skills.
6. You fail to connect with others’ feelings and words.
You think you know everything and whatever you do is simply perfect.
Working in a team or doing something with your partner requires that you have a healthy discussion.
You are only concerned about your feelings and thoughts, but do not feel the same for others.
No partner, friend, or colleague will accept a person with such self-centered behavior.
The way you think, believing that you cannot be wrong, or your behavior when you are advised are all signs of poor communication, saying you listen to no one but you.
You are used to advising others, but you don’t follow it yourself.
7. You cannot make conversation clear or concise.
The reason is that you believe that everyone knows and thinks the way you do.
It’s just you sharing what’s in your mind, and you don’t care about their level of understanding.
A lot of times, it happens when you are passionate about something, such as a certain work or movie.
Whether someone is interested in the same topic or not, it doesn’t matter to you. You just want to share this with someone.
No one has ideas about what you’re doing in your fantasy world, and when you share such things you just make them confused or bored anyway.
As a poor communicator, you do not just bore them, but also ignore their unique preferences.
8. Your body language does not match anything you say.
Although you don’t have to make a public speech, body language matters a lot.
If you are having trouble connecting with others or they do not seem to understand what you are saying, you might want to check your body language, too.
You may be sending the wrong message with your body language.
It can also be interpreted as you’ve no personality because you hesitate to speak your opinion in public. Or it can even send negative signals.
When your body language shows negative emotions or does not correspond with what you’re trying to say to others, such are signs that you are a bad communicator.
Check other: Signs You’re Over-Planning Everything
9. You are not listening; you are preparing your next statement.
Trying to appear attentive and understanding them are two different things.
It may seem like you’re fully focused on that person when they speak to you.
But, on the inside, you’re also forming your opinions on the same topic to speak next.
What’s good here is that you think before you speak. But you think while they’re speaking.
Because you’re there all waiting to speak, you’re detaching yourself from whatever they say. And these are nothing but common signs of poor communication skills.
10. You expect them to understand every word you speak.
You just say whatever you want, without checking whether they get it or not.
Everyone’s level of understanding is different, so we can’t expect others to think, believe, and act similarly to us.
Everyone’s thinking is different, so it’s a good idea to lower the difficulty level according to the listeners.
In doing so, you can make your point clear.
Failure to use a common approach or simplify things makes you a bad communicator who is prone to confusing others rather than educating them.
Check other: Signs You Should Stay Away from Someone
11. You always bring a negative edge to every conversation.
Even in the best of cases, something you say eventually hurts others deeply.
Even if you think it’s your honest nature or powerful personality to state the facts in front of a person, it’s better to stop as it might destroy their confidence.
Your words are purely destructive, and you cause others to feel regret for being positive around you.
Because you tend to point out negatives anyway when someone expresses their achievements or positive sentiment.
Negative habits like this can cause problems for relationships.
Due to that people might avoid sharing anything positive around you, and these are signs you lack communication skills.
12. Your emotions are beyond your control.
It’s like you can’t control your words, nature, or yourself.
If someone tells you the truth or suggests something, you will spontaneously get angry or start crying.
Perhaps you take everything personally, which makes it hard for everyone to even talk with you again.
You always feel as if someone is targeting you and they have a problem with you.
When you use your preconceptions more than your reasoning, you are more likely to misunderstand what other people are saying.
Well, the signs of poor communication skills show that you neither connect with their words nor you get the right meaning for what they’re trying to convey.
It leaves you no room for improvement since they may try to help you but you don’t listen.
Check other: 9 Signs You’ve Built A Bad Reputation
Effects of Poor Communication Skills
The main problem with the poor communicator is that they don’t recognize that they are really bad at communication.
They feel as if they are good at this and actually need nothing to improve.
If you lack the ability to communicate as a friend, family member, colleague, or partner, you make it nearly impossible to have a logical and meaningful conversation with anyone.
And what prevents connection, simply breaks any possibility of communication.
Well, the problem goes further than that. Below are some of the most common issues you might run into if you are bad at communicating:
- Being misunderstood whatever you share with others.
- No meaningful and logical conversation with anyone, especially the partner.
- Ignorance and isolation due to unhealthy to zero communication.
- Criticism, judgmental or negative behavior in a relationship.
- A miscommunication at work wastes time, resources, and energy.
- Experiencing challenges in both personal and professional relationships.
- People stay away from you because there’s no point to discuss with you.
Problems due to poor communication may not be apparent to you, but they exist.
If you want others to respect you and listen to you, you must first learn how to do the same for them.
Show your enthusiasm and commitment to them as you expect from them.
Pay attention to what they have to say and make an effort to understand them. Possibly they’re trying to help you.
If you relate to the most discussed signs of poor communication skills, that only means you’re a bad communicator. On the bright side, it’s possible for you to improve. After all, it’s a skill, a habit that you can change or re-program if you wish to do so.