17 Signs Your Friend Uses You (And, How To Deal With A ‘User Friend’?)

Last updated on December 31st, 2022 at 05:51 pm

Any time you feel that your friend is there only to take advantage of you and is more interested in ‘taking’ than ‘giving’ anything good, that friend is a user. 

Don’t overlook the early signs that your friend uses you, already. 

This way, you can keep your trust in friendship alive and save tons of time dealing with such ‘a user friend’. 


But, Why Do Some Friends Use You?

Some friends appear in your life, with their agendas. 

They befriend you for a purpose such as using your name or fame, taking money from you, future benefits, or even your friend wants your boyfriend.

Also, it’s their nature to develop friendships only to take advantage of others.

They won’t be your friend if you don’t have some ‘benefits’ for them. 

Rather than your company, they’re more interested in what you have to offer.

Perhaps this (so-called) friend hides something from you or plans to take advantage of you in the future.

That’s why they keep you as a friend. 

signs your friend is a user

And, once they get what they need, they will throw you out of their ‘friend list’. 

You’ve to be aware of such a ‘user friend’ who never wants friendship with you, but pretends to. It’s their way of taking advantage of you. 


17 Signs Your Friend Uses You

You might feel proud to have so many friends and so many people want to become friends. 

But there’s a difference between right and fake friends.

You certainly don’t want to let your fake friend take advantage of you, they aren’t your friends but users. 

If you sense their presence, the following signs will help you spot a friend who is using you.

1. That friend who isn’t involved in friendship as you’re.

You are genuinely happy to do everything for your friend. As a friend, you play your part.

Likewise, your friend must make equal efforts from their end. But, they never. 

Anytime you call them, they won’t pick up or excuse that they’re busy.

The same ‘user’ friend expects you to be there when they need you.

Check other: Signs Your Bestie Replaces You As A Friend

2. That friend manipulates you to give them something.

Of course, they will do that. Because that’s why they become your friend. 

Such a friend just uses you to get something done for them.

They first try to be extra nice and if they don’t get it easily from you… they try manipulation. 

A user friend never cares about how you feel about it, they just want you to do it for them.

3. That friend is around only when they need something.

This might be the most obvious sign that your friend uses you for some reason. 

A friend who only contacts you when they need a favor from you or some money has no value for you.

You’re actually being used by a friend, more like a doormat.

Although you know this friend is using you, you can’t stop now because you’ve already done so much.

Signs your friend is taking advantage of you

4. Your friendship with that friend is formal rather than casual.

For your friend, you’re an open help center. Without need, he won’t show up. 

When they need something, they reach out to you.

Also, they won’t make good friends with whom you enjoy great times, but they are there for a reason. 

You can’t memorize any experiences of you and this user friend ever having fun together. 

Check other: Signs You’re Too Friendly Without Need

5. That friend knows everything about you but never shares anything back.

Because they don’t want you to help back as they expect it from you. 

They ask too many questions and seem excited to learn more about you.

The reason is that they want to know how and under what conditions they can use you.

You easily know that your friend is using you, when they keep anything secret from you. 

6. That friend always has something for you to do for them.

It doesn’t matter if you find it a small or big favor. The point is, they want something at all times.

Never do you and they have a normal conversation like friends.

But your conversation is mostly around your ability to help them. 

A good friend asks if they can help you, and a user friend asks what you can do for them.

7. That friend stops you from helping others. Because only they want to use you.

You’re such a genuine friend when you are always ready to help others anyways. 

If there is a friend who already takes advantage of you, they feel jealous when you do the same for others, as well.

Your user friend tries to alert you that others could use you.

Because they very well know what they’re doing to you. 

8. That friend keeps you away from the other good friends.

Because your user friend already knows what their intentions are. 

It might not be obvious to you that this friend is just using you, but your other friends already know it. 

So, that friend who uses you makes sure you stay away from the good friends who can warn you about them. 

subtle signs your friend is using you

9. That friend who takes control of your time and life.

They don’t care about your boundaries and invade your space whenever they want. 

You might come across such friends who have no respect for you.

With manipulation or by being emotional, such a control freak friend tries to manage your life. 

Because this way a user friend can take more advantage of you. 

10. That friend ghosts you when you don’t provide what they want.

If anytime when you can’t do something for them, they take it personally.

Such a friend never cares about you, but for them.

They have no regard for your priorities in life.

Instead, a friend who uses you, secretly wants you to treat them as a priority.

It’s common for a user friend to take things personally for no reason and get emotional. 

11. That friend always borrows something and never returns the favor.

You might have a friend who is ready for all plans and forgets to bring a purse always.

Such a user friend wishes for you to pay for everything, every time.

They might borrow some money or anything, but never care to give it back.

Their demands center around money, which is a sign that your friend is using you for money and to fulfill their desires. 

Check other: Signs No One Cares About Your Feelings

12. That friend never lets you change or improve.

Beware of such friends who look down on you, and never share anything positive

Friends are supposed to be supportive, but this friend prevents you from growing in your career and life.

They block your success with doubt and negativity.

If you have a friend who feels insecure and never supports you for good things are signs that your friend is a user.

They wish you to stay the same forever. So that they can use you the same way.

13. That friend never lets you be yourself, but what they want.

When you’re with a user friend, you don’t act like yourself naturally.

You feel like someone else. 

Because you need to change yourself to fit their needs. They keep you around to look better. 

A good friend accepts you as you’re, while users force you to change. 

That’s a clear sign that you’re being taken advantage of in friendship by a user friend. 

14. That friend shows up only when you’re in good condition.

Such friends might appear around you when you buy something new or,  you’re going to be successful

They will only be with you for using your name.

You won’t see them if you’re in a bad time and during a struggling period.

Having a friend who only is around you during the good times, but not around when you need which are subtle signs that your friend is a user. 

15. That friend never involves you in anything.

It’s because they see you as a commodity, rather than as a friend. 

You might do everything with a pure heart for them.

But this friend often forgets to invite you on their birthdays or any plans. 

While the same friend will come to you when they want something from you. 

signs of being used by a friend

16. That friend acts very nice to you before asking anything.

If you two meet occasionally, this friend will never greet you positively or even not look at you.

But at the moment when they need something, they start praising you and they admire you for no reason.

You can clearly spot they’re being overly nice to you.

When your friend treats you according to their mood and demands, such are subtle signs that your friend uses you. 

17. That friend never picks up your call, but only calls you in need.

Because they are more interested in taking help than helping you back. 

It’s clear that your friend is a user when he won’t come to you or show up when you need them with you.

When you have something to say or ask them, they never appear. 

That proves they want to use you but never give anything back.

Check other: Signs Someone Gets Under Your Skin


How To Deal With Friend That Uses You?

It is pointless to keep letting that user friend take advantage of you, even if you know them well. 

Have respect for yourself. If your friend does not respect your feelings, stand up for yourself. 

If you already found that your friend is a user, and moving on is hard for you, this is how you can handle a user friend, with the required steps:

how to deal with a friend that uses you

1. Identify a  user friend, first.

How would you find the user friend? 

Well, we’ve already shared the most common signs to spot a friend that uses you. 

Notice in your connection, from whom you receive similar signals. 

2. See what advantage this friend is looking for.

Every friend who is on a set to use you has a secret intention to be your friend. 

See what’s something they mostly ask you and try to check if you provide, it quite often.

3. Stop giving them what they need.

Whether it’s a time, money, favor, or something, the next time they ask, don’t give them.

If that friend is a user they might try to manipulate you or get emotional. 

4. You should cut off a friend who uses you.

The most important thing you can do to a user friend is to just remove them before they totally take advantage of you emotionally or financially.

Just remove them from your life. They can never be good to you,

5. Look for a real friend with no such secret intentions.

Have friends who are genuinely interested in friendship and nothing else. 

They will keep your faith alive in friendship than take advantage of you as being your friend. 

Remember, there’s no need to give any extra time, attention, and help to friends who don’t deserve it.

Don’t hesitate to cut off such user friends from your life, you don’t need them. 

Check other: Signs You Should Stay Away From Someone


If you find subtle signs that your friend uses you, you should move on. 

Be more with those friends who like to be with you for what you are and not what you have. 

Plus, it’s also important to set your boundaries clear so that no one can use you in the name of friendship.