17 Signs You’re Not Really In Love (Or, Never Have Been)

Last updated on January 15th, 2023 at 06:02 pm

Lately, your relationship seems to be on ‘Autopilot mode’ and you seem to care less about your partner (and more about you). 

You might consider this as the early signs that you’re not really in love anymore with this person. 

Maybe it was just an attraction without any romantic interest, Or maybe you’re just bored in a relationship and need a break.

Or you might want to move one because this is the end of the love story.


17 Signs You’re Not Really In Love Anymore

Back then, everything about this partner was cute, but now you find them irritating.

Previously, you feel emotionally connected in the relationship, but now you have no hope. 

Like always, the attraction feels strong from the beginning. 

Eventually, it starts to decline and leaves you confused as to whether this person has lost its charm or you no longer feel excited about it.

If you want to know if your love is over for this person, watch out for these signs:

1. You keep asking yourself, “Am I really in love with this person?”

When there’s love, there’s no need to confirm it, you already feel special. 

Earlier, you may have felt an intimate connection and attraction to this person.

But now… you’re unsure what things are going with this relationship. 

You find yourself, constantly doubting your feelings for them.

Even being together so far, you don’t know if you’re still in love or what.

Check other: Signs Your Roommate Is Interested In You

2. You’ve no desire to see them every day.

It used to be that every date was an exciting event. It was great to see her every day.

You are now easily accessible to each other, that could be the reason why the excitement isn’t there. 

It’s more like your love has reached its peak and now starts to decline.

Because the love is no longer there, your conversation becomes dull. 

The hard point is- you ghost each other after dates, ignoring the regular calls.

3. You don’t treat them as your priority anymore.

When you’re in love with someone, they become your top priority. 

When you find yourself becoming more careless, it means that you are not seeing them the same way as in the past.

You use excuses for being less available to each other.

You both talk only when in need, and your connection has become unlovable and forced. 

4. Your level of mutual understanding is no longer there.

Also, it’s harder to connect emotionally with each other lately.

The gap between your understanding continues to widen.

When there’s love in a long-distance relationship, it feels connected even when you’re apart. 

But, when you feel no intimacy and your regular talk to couples time… everything feels dull.

This directly points to signs that you’re really not in love anymore.

5. You’re emotionally unavailable around this person.

When there’s a connection, no need for any validation or approvals, it’s just there. 

And when it’s not, you find yourself looking elsewhere for answers.

Maybe this person reminds you of a negative relationship you had before, and you feel disconnected. 

You no longer feel relaxed and easy around this person, the comfort is gone. 

Check these: Signs An Emotionally Damaged Man Loves You

6. You can’t remember why you fell for this person.

The first meetings, the first date, and everything are lifelong memories. 

It’s not just about the attraction, but also ‘the connection’ that makes you feel special about someone you’re in love with.

Keeping those beautiful memories alive is also one way to have an exciting relationship.

Yet, here you forget why you connected and what was special about it. In fact, you have difficulty finding a reason to love this person. 

7. You have stopped giving your efforts to impress your partner.

A good relationship is supported by mutual efforts in the right direction.

You and your partner have stopped giving each other enough time and little surprises lately.

No longer do you try to make your partner feel special. 

Life gets too busy for you, but not wanting to invest in this relationship is a sign that you don’t love or care about this person anymore.

8. You feel like losing yourself in this relationship.

If you have to change yourself to get love, it’s not love actually. 

Pure love is based on the acceptance of each other as they are.

Perhaps you’ve given too much or expected too much in this relationship.

However, you are not grateful for this connection, instead, you feel like losing yourself.

This proves you’re not really in love with him and he is not ‘the one’ for you.

9. You’re open to a new connection in search of a way out.

As the attraction fades, you are more likely to stay away from this person. 

Now you’re not seeking joy or fun in anything from this relationship. So, you’re going out for another connection to entertain you. 

The fact that you are turning back to your friends or seeking another connection before leaving this relationship.

This is enough to prove that you don’t love someone. 

10. You start to complain a lot about this person.

Everybody has flaws. When you’re in love, you don’t see any flaws, they seem perfect. (in an early phase, only)

Now, you feel irritated by every small thing that your partner does or says.

You tell them to take care of themselves. Because you are not going to do it for them, anymore.

The Increasingly complaining nature about this person indicates you’re no longer in love with this person.

11. You start being on your own again.

Now you feel yourself in the same spot as you were alone and independent

Some way or another, you try to distance yourself from this person.

You don’t expect their involvement in your life, and you don’t support them either. 

Making yourself away from this person and start being alone more often, are signs that your love is about to come to an end. 

12. You’re in a relationship because they still have a love for you.

It’s clear to your inner self that you’re not feeling the way you did for this person. 

It’s hard for you to admit you’ve no love for them. So you fake it.

You do not want to hurt their feelings. So, either you pretend to love someone or hope to feel that love again. 

Well, when you have to pressure yourself to love someone, that means there’s no love.

13. You keep love because of your insecurity and fear.

It’s not like you don’t want to love them, it’s more like you have to love them. 

Being afraid to be single for life and any insecurity makes you be in this relationship, even though it’s not working.

Your partner might not have an idea now, but they’ll later on.  

When a relationship runs for any other reason except love, it’s not a healthy relationship. 

14. You don’t feel jealous or afraid to lose your partner.

As you lost the spark, you have also lost care for this person. 

Being jealous is proof that you love this person and don’t want to let them go.

Lately, you just stopped loving each other. Also, showing no emotions. 

Having no concern for a partner’s needs, and not taking each other seriously anymore, are signs that you’ve no love left for this person. 

15. You can’t see the future of this relationship.

Relationships have no future when there is no exciting discussion about them.

Since you feel like you’re not really in love with this person, you avoid discussing plans.

No longer do you ask them such questions either.

There was a time when you two excitedly shared each other’s relationship desires.

Now you both avoid this discussion, knowing it won’t happen. You’ve given up on love.

16. You start to compare your relationship with others.

In love, one looks completely different and special from the rest

But, trying to change them or trying to be like someone else are obvious signs that you’re not in love with this person anymore. 

In your opinion, other couples are happier than you, and your relationship is in no way near.

Real love is not about expectations, but acceptance of each other, for their true self. Remember that.

17. You feel it within that you no longer love him/her.

Maybe it has always been just an attraction, and you mistake it for love at first sight. 

You might have felt this person wasn’t right for you, but you ignored it. Now you realize why you felt that way in the first place.

You just want to give this relationship a shot and it also comes so easily. Thinking that it will work out with time, you’ve accepted it.

While in your gut, you always feel that love isn’t there, actually. Yet, you keep it going. Now… everything is clear.

Check these: Signs Of Hating Someone So Much


What Next, After Knowing It’s Not Love?

Loving someone and then leaving them… when there’s no love, is not that easy. 

You should also verify why you feel so.

Do you feel bored because you haven’t done anything special for each other lately?

In such a case, you both need to act to refuel the relationship once again with romance. 

Hopefully, the attraction and excitement will return.

While if you feel more like the signs and don’t want to try, that means you’re not really in love and you can’t force it to happen. 

The shared signs all point out that… there is no love left in the relationship. 


Either because this relationship was based on attraction only, not on love. Or maybe it changes over time…just like seasons and feelings. 

It was in the past and is gone. Sometimes, it’s better to move on, giving up on love.

Because being in a relationship where there is no love… you make it complicated not just for you, but for the other person, too.