13 Signs You’ve Lost Yourself ‘The Real You’

Last updated on July 12th, 2023 at 05:25 pm

Hurtful events and challenging phases are not the problems, actually.

In fact, they’re a way to get to know you (And, not to lose you).

When due to a bad situation or person, you start to become someone that you’re not… are the signs that you’ve lost yourself or you’re about to.

Instead of learning and moving forward in life, you’ve let them destroy your identity.

Well, there must be many reasons and early signs to consider but when you feel like losing your identity in life or in a relationship… you no longer remain the real you. 


How Do You Know If You Have Lost Yourself?

Losing your ‘Real’ self somewhere in life… is far different from missing regular things like your car keys or mobile charger somewhere.  

Even if you lose something, you will get it back.

If not, then you have already the option to replace it. 

But, when you lose yourself, however, there is no replacement for yourself. You simply need to restore yourself to the original version.

Even better… you can transform yourself into an updated version of ‘you’.

Whatever the cause may be, whether it’s a recent event, a past relationship, or a hurtful event, you better forget your past for your good.

Because the more you think about the past the more you’re getting away from the person you become now.

You grow every day every year.

But, sometimes due to past regrets or memories, you simply stay stuck in your old life. 

If you are feeling somewhat like ‘I have lost myself’ or ‘losing yourself’, here are signs that will help you detect whether to consider yourself as lost or just changed.


13 Signs You’ve Lost Yourself and Your Identity In Life.

1. You feel like you’re going nowhere.

You keep doing things you don’t like. 

Although you know you don’t deserve all of this, from this hurtful relationship to a miserable job, you choose to stay in that anyway. 

In your heart, you feel that your life has gotten off track because you’re on a road not on your map (plan).

However, you feel you have no chance now. 

If you lose hope in everything and just accept the way you are without even trying, that means you have lost self-confidence, before yourself. 

2. You are losing confidence in yourself.

There is no hope and confidence you see in yourself that encourage you to stand up on your own or to do something positive for yourself. 

However, now you do not see your life as having a purpose or something to look forward to. 

No matter what happens to you, you don’t regret or get excited about something that you cared about earlier.

You’ve lost the ability to change and enjoy anything in life. 

Those are such signs that you’ve lost yourself and have no clue where you’re going in life.

Check other: 11 Signs You Are Addicted To Youtube

3. You don’t have time for yourself, but for others.

You dedicate your life to others in order to help, advise, or make them happy anyway.  

But, you don’t have much time for yourself, your hobbies, your dreams, your personal development plans, or anything that can improve you as a person. 

It’s apparent that you feel pressured by society, making you feel like you have to be there with them all the time, regardless of your priorities and self-worth. 

You always take time to care for others, but not yourself.

Whenever you give too much of yourself, with the pressure of keeping someone happy all the time or the inability to express yourself honestly, these signs that you are losing yourself in a relationship.

4. You compare yourself with others.

You should not ignore this one when checking whether or not you know yourself. 

Whenever you compare yourself to others in terms of the level of success, income, fulfillment of dreams, and desires…

You are simply living someone else’s life. 

Seriously, you don’t respect or care about yourself. Because you want to be like someone else or to be better than others. 

Not valuing your true self and always trying to look perfect anyway to others and such are signs that you’ve lost yourself because you try to alter your identity.  

Check other: 14 Signs You’re Unhappy With Yourself

5. You are trying to please everyone around.

People who want to please everyone are frustrated and ultimately unhappy, inside. 

It is your goal to be accepted by others and to have someone admire you. 

The majority of the time, you are with them without appreciating yourself or your time. 

You are too nice a person in this world who always has something to offer. 

There is no way you can say no to others because choosing yourself over others is simply too harsh for you. 

Similarly, you don’t want to hurt others’ feelings but can do this to yourself. 

You lose your identity and live someone else’s life while trying to make everyone happy and be acceptable to society. 

6. You don’t care for yourself, enough.

Self-care is not something that you need to do, but something that you should do. 

After all, no one takes care of yourself, the way you do.

Being caring for others and offering them love and support is all good, but sometimes you have to look after yourself as well. 

Your constant fear of being judged and unworthy leads you to neglect your self-care routine and to being so hard on yourself, in the end. 

If you’re stressed or pressured, it seems like everything is because of you. 

Self-care is the first thing that gets sacrificed whenever someone gets emotionally hurt or broken by someone else in a relationship or friendship.

Check other:14 Signs You Don’t Respect Yourself

7. You constantly talk negatively about yourself.

Whenever you feel negative or upset, you see the world in the same way. 

It is okay to doubt yourself when it comes to a particular thing as nobody is perfect.

But, if you don’t have anything to say positively about yourself or always doubt yourself, that means you don’t know yourself. 

Not knowing what you are capable of and what you aren’t, it’s a sign you’ve lost yourself.

Within you, you feel useless and as if your life isn’t going anywhere. 

Everyone starts to complain about the way you talk negatively about any situation, people, life, and for yourself.

Negative emotions will find it easier to manipulate you if you don’t know who you really are. 

You have to know what you’re good at, like knowing what you’re not. 

8. You feel uncomfortable ‘being YOU’ around others.

Occasionally, you feel very uncomfortable with your true self, which makes it difficult to interact with others.

Inner self you think you’re unattractive and unfit to be with someone. 

Inside, you don’t feel like a good fit to be someone’s friend, partner, or even just teammate. 

Due to your habit of always canceling plans, you are avoided by everyone, getting no interest or excitement in anything so far. 

In other words, you don’t open yourself up to others, either prefer to be alone most of the time or with people who make you feel worthless, ignored, and lost, eventually. 

Having no idea what makes you different and how to present yourself to others, is a sign that you are losing yourself.

Check other: 8 Signs of A Weak-minded Person

9. You don’t feel excited or passionate anymore.

It’s okay to not have a purpose yet. But, you don’t even try to find one for yourself. 

What happened is unknown to you.

But, suddenly you find that you are not the excited person you used to be who loves to work or talk about something or someone. 

Your friends and colleagues have noticed that you aren’t excitedly talking about the things you were passionate about.

As if you have lost your passion or interest somewhere else.

Instead of following your heart, you keep yourself in something that’s not for you.

Even your favorite hobbies and me-time activities no longer bring you happiness.

10. You are too dependent on others for everything.

As opposed to accepting who you are, you always seek someone’s validation and approval. 

That shows that you don’t respect yourself, since you don’t know yourself either.

This can lead to relying on others for something in life that you could do better on your own. 

You fall victim to people taking advantage of you or ignoring you as a result of being too dependent on others. 

It is impossible for you to take a big decision or get anything done by yourself. 

Instead of doing it yourself, you prefer to wait for someone else to assist. 

Your insecure behavior plus a tendency to trust others more than yourself are signs that you have lost yourself.

Check other: 9 Signs You Will Be Replaced At Work Sooner Than Ever

11. You prefer being around toxic people in life.

You have people that are all about themselves and always keep you feeling negative. 

Plus, our life would be more lost or meaningless if we had such toxic people and we don’t get rid of them. 

Still, you prefer to be around such friends or in a toxic relationship rather than cut them off from your life.

Because you don’t want to look harsh like this. 

You avoid hurting others while letting them play with your feelings now and then.

The right people in life help you to explore your true self, while the wrong one, makes you feel lost, just like them. 

12. Your life is like being on autopilot mode.

We all have some likes, dislikes, and opinions about something. 

However, your opinion changes around the people and situations you’re in.

You have no original voice and may lose your identity somewhere. You just accepted that you’re good for nothing. 

As opposed to preparing for any challenges life throws at you, you prefer accepting your situation as if you do not deserve anything good. 

You don’t see the motivation or inspiration anywhere, not even in yourself.

Such are signs that you’ve lost yourself and don’t think that there’s hope for you. 

Check other: 13 Signs Your Parents Don’t Care About You (And What To Do)

13. Your friends, partner, or family are worried about you.

Your people around you know you very well and can notice the slightest physical or behavior change when they get to see you next time. 

And if anything that isn’t going well in your life, they will instantly get that anyway. 

Your behavior has changed and you are not the same person as before. That you might hear that quite often from those around you. 

So don’t think that they are complaining, they care for you and don’t want to see you change in a negative way. 

You’ve likely lost yourself and become a completely different person. This makes them more worried and stressed about you.


How do I stop losing myself? Or Where’s the map to find you?

Do you feel more connected to these signs?

Then, you’ve lost yourself, following the track that isn’t for you. 

Clearly, it shows that you going in the wrong direction, but it doesn’t mean you’ll stay there always.

Remember that…

You can ALWAYS change something in your life. Also, you can become an even better person… If you want to. 

Whether it’s due to the new job or a toxic relationship that bothering you, that’s up to you to decide, How to make the best out of yourself or what to do with your time.

Take charge of your life and find a way out of a stuck situation or lost feeling.

Instead of putting pressure on yourself, try to do more things that make you aware of your original self. 


Learn to accept everything as it is, everyone as they are. Whenever you feel like you are losing yourself, be more comfortable with yourself. Don’t feel pressured by something that doesn’t work for you…. Focus on something that does.