12 Signs A Guy Doesn’t Know What He Wants In A Relationship

Last updated on November 25th, 2022 at 05:42 pm

Your relationship has been going well for the past few months. After a while, you feel that he is not invested in this relationship as you do.

He seems very confused and unsure when you ask about your relationship plans.

Whether it’s your gut feelings or his ongoing irresponsible behavior as a partner are the early signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants from this relationship.

Read on to find more signs that prove that guy isn’t serious about you, his life, and is particularly confused about your future together.


How do you tell if your guy doesn’t know what he wants?

When it all starts everything seems so special, but no he replies, “Seriously, I don’t know what I want.”

If your guy ever informed you this when last time you sat together, the first thing you want to know is that he is truly a nice guy who actually knows how to express what he feels. 

Maybe he is seriously feeling stuck due to some life problems like insecurity about his job or struggling with his family problems or something from the past.

Or he’s not sure if you’re the right match for him.

You love him and before that, you have a special plan for your future relationship, that’s fine.

But, you’re not seeing similar efforts and interest from your guy, as well. 

The more openly he shares his confusions with you, the better chance you have of making the right move together. 

But, if you constantly see him hiding something from you, then it’s quite confusing yet challenging for you to decide what to do here. 

Whether to accept the reality and live with this assured confusion… Or just move on, But when?

Below, you will find other signs that prove a guy is not serious about a relationship. 

Plus, he does not have a plan for it, does not like you, or he wants to play you as a handy-toy and not looking for a long-term relationship. 


12 Signs a guy doesn’t know what he wants or isn’t serious about you

1. He contacts you only when he wants to.

Even though you’re in a relationship, the communication is too little or occasional, overall. 

You will most likely get a call or text from a guy only when he needs your support or wants to talk something through. 

As you look closer, it appears that most of your conversations are virtual, like those by text message or phone call alone. There is no real connection.

You don’t even communicate on a regular basis like you would do if you were dating. 

Such responses are indicative signs that he is not serious about you as a partner, or he wants to take advantage of you. 

2. He never introduces you to his parents or family.

A guy who really cares about your relationship and future with him is the one who takes you to his family parties and treats you like a part of the family. 

When you are right for each other, he will ensure you and the family meet frequently and make a strong connection. 

The guy who doesn’t know what he wants or isn’t committed to a relationship will keep you away from his family. 

He repeatedly promises he will let your parents know about you when the right moment comes but never does.

Such signs are enough for you to realize that a guy doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship. 

Check other: 14 Signs You Are Turning Into ‘Best Friend to Lover’

3. He can’t openly accept that you two are in a relationship.

You can tell he doesn’t even know what to call your relationship, and that is the strongest sign that he doesn’t know what he wants. 

Although you spend time together, move around, and roam like a partner…

He still doesn’t feel confident enough to introduce you as his girlfriend or partner. 

Maybe he’s too shy to admit it or just isn’t confident about what’ll be your future together.

Point is, he is never able to confidently respond when someone asks about you. 

There can be signs that he’s not fully committed to a relationship or that he is not sure whether you are compatible with him or not. 

4. He expects too much from a relationship or nothing at all.

Each individual defines the relationship differently.

Most people get its meaning based on their priorities, life approaches, and past experiences. 

There’s a chance the man you’re trying to develop a long-term relationship with has a different viewpoint as well.

It is obvious that you could not establish an emotional connection if you haven’t discussed what exactly you and a guy both expect from this relationship.

At first, everything seems great, just like a positive start. 

But as time goes on, you realize that the person has incredibly high expectations of the future partner or nothing positive at all. 

All he wants is to gain as much from the relationship as possible.

And when it comes to understanding a partner’s demands, he prefers to walk away from taking such responsibilities. 

Such a one-sided relationship that is all about taking and not giving enough effort are signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship. 

Because he neither cares for his partner nor is interested in knowing what his partner needs. 

Check other: 9 Signs You Will Be Single Forever

5. He just shared his confusion with you.

It’s not all of them, but some guys will realize that their relationship isn’t going as planned.

Knowing so, they’re not contributing there, they actually talk about it with their partner. Because they do care.

Some female partners might overlook a guy’s confusion at first or don’t take it seriously at first.

Well, it is necessary to give special attention to such frank discussions.

You better talk with him about how you can resolve matters together if a man wants something else.

6. He is dealing with a lot of other life challenges.

There can’t just be one reason why your guy feels this way and why they don’t feel the way you expect in your relationship.

And you better not blame yourself, also.

From personal life and career settlement, the individual might deal with so many frustrating things at present.

And, that probably prevents him from seeing the positive side of other dimensions of life. 

It doesn’t matter how wonderful the relationship is between you, or how much you both appreciate one another. 

But, if he is spending nearly ten hours handling such a bad boss who constantly micromanages him…

He can’t fully enjoy the rest of his day with you. 

Some people struggle with personal problems and family issues that prevent them from being able to connect with someone who really wants to be part of their lives.

The same applies here, as he can’t talk to you confidently about it either.

Within, he feels uneasy, and confused, and doesn’t know what he wants.

Check other: 10 Signs You Are About To Meet Your Soulmate

7. He fails to set priorities in life.

Aside from the Funtime relationship, a committed and serious relationship takes a great amount of attention and time of one’s life.

The guy you’re right now with may be too focused on other aspects of life.

Or has already decided not to enter into the relationship without making an impact on their life.

Possibly he feels insecure because… he feels like he’s dating someone out of the league.

Well, he’s not perfect, but clever enough to realize that he has to be ready enough to care for someone else along with himself.

Such guys are really thoughtful and think of their people more than anyone else. 

Either he plans to own a house or get well settled in this career, before having a committed relationship. 

Being too focused on one aspect of life may lead him to devalue the other life priorities

Of course, he loves you but isn’t confident enough to admit that he needs some time. 

Such signs indicate he is not fully committed to a relationship and expect some more time to settle, before entering in. 

8. He never gets excited about anything, not even about you.

A guy who asks questions and shows a desire to learn many things about you is one of signs that a guy is truly interested in you and has some sort of plan for going along with you. 

But, the guy you’re with is quite different here. 

He never seems excited to you even after seeing you for a month.

In fact, he never bothered to ask how your day was or to show up for the most important day of your life. 

Never asking questions about your life, interests, and hobbies, or even not showing any desire to develop the connections, are signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants in a relationship. 

Check other: 8 Signs God Wants You To Marry Someone

9. He was deeply hurt by his past relationships.

This may be a sure reason why a guy is not respecting you enough in his life. 

Possible that the man is emotionally hurt from the past relationship and his ex-partners have given them a reason not to fully trust others. 

As a result, you may face difficulties in your relationship…

Such as proving your worth constantly to not receiving sufficient attention from your partner. 

Every time a person gets to realize that wound from the previous relationship, the more he becomes insecure and possessive to present partner’s loyalty. 

Although he sees you as a genuine partner to trust…

He may be reluctant to let go of the feeling of broken trust.

He admits that he is not getting over with their ex and such heartbreaking incidents constantly remind him of his failed relationship. 

Knowing such insecurity and confused gestures from a partner are signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants because he lost hope in a committed relationship. 

10. He doesn’t consider you a perfect match.

This can be heartbreaking to you but that’s the fact that a guy has no genuine feeling for you.

It’s an unfortunate sign to know that he is not ready for the relationship

As you already know, he enjoys spending time with you, discussing all the details of your day.

But when it’s about a long-term relationship he never gives you that confident look. 

Whenever you discuss the next step in the relationship, he always changes the subject or tries to avoid it. 

Yes, it appears that he is scared of the relationship.

It can happen that he just needs someone around or keeps you as an option till the perfect one (as per his desire) comes into his life. 

Well, being treated like a granted and not sharing feelings openly are clear signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants from this relationship. 

Although he likes you, he doesn’t know whether he wants to be in a serious relationship with you or what.

Simply, because you don’t meet his standards for a perfect partner.

Check other: 12 Signs You Will Never Find Love (As You’re Not Worthy Enough)

11. He seriously doesn’t know what he wants.

You’ve been with this guy for a long time, and despite all this time, you haven’t received any special gestures from him. 

Surely it’s understandable that he doesn’t know how to express his feelings toward someone.

That’s perfectly fine because he might want to confirm whether you’re the right person.  

It could be that he struggles with trust or intense chemistry in your relationship.

So, he needs more time to understand what is actually happening between you and him. 

Additionally, it may be that your communication was insufficient for him to make an accurate judgment about him, and ultimately to know what to do next.

If this is the case, you don’t need to force him or expect too many results in a short period of time, just give him some time to settle with his emotions. 

12. He always forces you to change yourself.

Having your own expectations from a relationship and life is perfectly fine, but not valuing a partner’s feelings and desires that’s not okay by any means. 

Relationships are meant to make each other whole and confident about themselves by eliminating any limitations and flaws.

You can say that you’re in a healthy relationship when you and your partner both know each other and have no secrets or anything to change. 

If you constantly have to prove your worth to your partner and take care of him before your feelings, then they are signs that you’re in a toxic relationship

This is because he wants you to behave and look the way he wants.

You can’t just be yourself around him, as you have to adjust your behavior to suit his needs. 

He will force you to change yourself as he observes and becomes attracted to new desires.

Such signs clearly show that a guy does not know what he wants and does not value the person you are. 

For your sake, it is important to leave a possessive relationship as quickly as possible.

Check other: 12 Fond Signs You Are Made For Each Other


How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?

When a person is confused with something, his actions do a better job of reflecting way before his words. 

But if the guy is genuine enough to share it with you openly, saying that he has no idea what he wants from life or his relationship, then you ought to trust him and support him so that he can get out. 

The good thing here is that he admits that he’s confused and not sure what to do.

It is important to provide emotional support to such guys. 

But, if you see the most discussed signs that a guy doesn’t know what he wants, then it is enough to know that he may be hiding something or not seriously into the relationship.

Possibly, this guy is a player or one who is simply not ready for the relationship. 


You definitely want to stay away from someone like this guy who can’t define a relationship plus nor he values your needs or dreams from a loving relationship.